Her Impulsiveness/Our Paranoia

One of things we are trying to work on with Abby is her impulsiveness. She seems unable at times to control herself, often to her own endangerment. It's a classic symptom of FAE/FAS, but whether it's that or just her personality, we don't know. I know some people think we're somewhat uptight regarding her, but we just never know when she will suddenly dart out into a busy street or pick up something vile off the ground and shove it into her mouth. I can let Ryan walk on a sidewalk by a busy road without holding my hand and not worry about him, but I wouldn't even dream of letting Abby do that!


When we arrived at our campsite and saw that our nice creek side campsite (I reserved it on the interent) turned out to be about a 20-foot steep hillside that led down to a shallow and narrow but swift-running river, I felt my stomach turn. So I pulled Abby over to the edge of the embankment and showed her how easily she could fall, then took her down to the river and showed her how quickly the water was moving. Then I did what all good parents do (don't they?)...I bribed her. It doesn't always work with her, in fact, it rarely does, but it was worth a shot! I told her if she would stay up on the embankment and not go over the edge or down to the river without Mommy or Daddy the whole time we were there, I would give her a special treat when we got home. She kept bringing it up and reminding us that she was obeying and wanted her treat when we got home, and lo and behold, she did it! She didn't once give me a scare about her getting too near the trail or anything. When we got home, I gave her a treat I had stashed away, a small (think Polly Pocket size) Cinderella doll with clothes and shoes and even "glass" slippers. She was thrilled and has been thanking me ever since!


We had some other "tests" during our camping trip. We were hiking and geocaching and the trail brought us to the top of the Dorena Dam. We walked out on it, and while Ryan was holding our hand too, we were squeezing the life out of Abby's hand. It would be just like her to lean between the rails to point to something and slip and fall over or see some bug flying just out of reach and stretch out to grab it...the ways she could thoughtlessly endanger herself goes on and on.


On our last hike we were on a very well-paved trail going around the lake, and from time to time the edge would be a pretty steep dropoff, so we would take Abby's hand and make her walk alongside us for those stretches. She really prefers to run ahead of us, and when it's safe, we let her. On one stretch that seemed safe, she was running ahead and I was snapping some pictures. Our usual routine is when she gets a ways out in front, we call to her and have her either stop and wait for us or come back to us. This time when we called, either she didn't hear us or she chose to ignore us and she kept on running. Suddenly she darted off the side of the trail and we couldn't see her anymore. We yelled as loud as we could for her to come to us while we were running to catch up to her. There was a bench off the trail a bit, and she had gone to sit on it...but talk about giving me a scare!


After administering some discipline, we sat on the bench, took her to the edge of the steep dropoff, and again talked about how important it is to obey Mommy and Daddy and how we make rules for her safety and for her good (the rule was to not leave the path).



As I read through this post for typos, I'm aware of how paranoid I sound, but I also remember that we've seen her dart into the road because she saw a "beautiful" piece of trash or a leaf she wanted completely heedless of the cars and we've pulled her back from the brink of disaster countless times in myriads of situations. We try to give her space and freedom to fall and get "reasonably" hurt on the playground or other such places where her life isn't endangered, hoping it will help her learn some awareness of danger, and I think it's slowly helping. But in the meantime, we guard her closely and thank God for the angels He's given watch over her (I'm sure she must have more than one!).